Week Seven: Malchut - Sovereignty
Sovereignty - the last of the seven attributes - is different than the previous six. It is a state of being rather than an activity. Leadership is
a passive expression of human dignity which has nothing of its own except that which it receives from the other six emotions. On the other
hand, Malchut manifests and actualizes the character and majesty of the human spirit. It is the very fiber of what makes us human. When love, discipline, compassion, endurance and humility are properly channeled into the psyche through bonding - the result is Malchut. Bonding nurtures us and allows our sovereignty to surface and flourish.
Malchut is a sense of belonging, knowing that you matter and that you make a difference, and that you have the ability to be a proficient leader in your own right. It gives you independence, confidence, and feeling of certainty and authority. When a mother lovingly cradles her child in her hands and the child's eyes meet the mother's affectionate eyes, the child receives the message that I am wanted and needed in this world, I have a comfortable place where I will always be loved, I have nothing to fear, and I feel like a king in my heart. This is Malchut, kingship.
Day 43
Chesed of Malchut – The Love Aspect of Sovereignty
Healthy sovereignty is always kind and loving. An effective leader needs to be warm and considerate. Sovereignty and leadership are
intertwined because a person who has healthy sovereignty is a natural leader. People recognize when some one is confident and self assured.
Does my sovereignty make me more loving?
As an actualized human being, we are more likely to be loving towards everyone because we feel full and centered within ourself.
Do I exercise my authority and leadership in a caring manner?
There is a great temptation to develop a power trip when we are in a position of authority over others. The higher up the ladder and the more authority one has, the greater the temptation. We must be diligent in watching our self when placed in a leadership role.
Do I impose my authority on others?
Imposing your authority is the definition of a power trip unless you are doing it over an issue of moral value or safety. I should impose my authority over a child who is misbehaving or with an employee who is inappropriate.
Am I kind to my subordinates?
How you treat others is the true measure of your inner convictions. You don’t have to like everyone, but you can be kind even to those you
find repulsive.
Day 44
Gevurah of Malchut – The Discipline Aspect of Sovereignty
Examine the discipline of your sovereignty and leadership. Although sovereignty is loving, it needs to be balanced with discipline. Effective leadership is built on authority and discipline. Dignity also needs discipline. A dignified person needs to have a degree of reserve. There is another factor in the discipline of sovereignty: determining the area in which you have jurisdiction and authority.
Do I recognize when I am not an authority?
Although it can be quite annoying to have an unruly child next to us in a restaurant, it’s really not our place to tell the parents what to do even if we are an expert in child behavior.
Do I exercise authority in unwarranted situations?
Usually, when someone does this, other people react strongly. If you have people thinking you are a pain, think about how and how often
you give directions. We also have to be careful to not over parent. It’s really not helpful for children to feel nagged by their parents.
Do I give clear instructions to my subordinates?
How to do something may be clear in our own mind, but it takes focus and discipline to then express it to others. Vague or uncertain guidance causes misunderstandings and mistakes; ‘they should know how’ is a falsehood.
Am I organized and do I manage a smooth-running operation?
It takes a lot of discipline to manage an office with people doing different jobs and everyone relying on others to work together as a team.
If your team is working well, you are working well.
Am I aware of my limitations as well as my strengths?
It is often more important to know your limitations better than your strengths. Overestimating our ability can get us killed.
Do I think about if I have the right and the ability to exercise authority in situations?
This is a simple think before you act discipline. Often, upon reflection, we find it wasn’t up to us to say or do something or our reflection may help to temper our response.
Day 45
Tiferet of Malchut – The Compassion Aspect of Sovereignty
Tiferet - harmony - is critical for successful leadership and a good leader is a compassionate one.
Is my compassion compromised because of my authority?
The saying goes: power corrupts, and the first thing to go is compassion.
Does my organization work as a team?
A compassionate leader creates a well functioning team because everyone feels valued and worthwhile.
Do we have staff meetings often enough to coordinate our goals and efforts?
Well functioning teams often have formal and informal meetings as things progress. When communication occurs frequently, it’s easy to stay focused on the goal. Parents experience what happens when team members don’t communicate enough; their child manages to manipulate one parent into saying yes to something the other parent already said no to. Every child does it and every parent team faces the issue.
Do I realize that an integral part of the dignity within sovereignty is compassion?
It is compassion that makes our sovereignty dignified.
Day 46
Netzach of Malchut – The Endurance Aspect of Sovereignty
A person's dignity and a leader's success is tested by his endurance level. Our will and determination reflect the power and majesty of the human spirit and the strength of one's sovereignty.
How determined am I in reaching my goals?
When a goal comes from deep within us, we will endure forever in the effort to attain that goal. There are many stories about famous people who were rejected time and again before they were recognized and then went on to become great.
How strong is my conviction to fight for a dignified cause?
This can only be assessed when faced with the situation. It’s very easy to say you would do something, it’s something else to do it.
How confident am I in myself?
Our level of confidence is proportional to our level of endurance. If we know that we will endure until completion, then we are infinitely
confident in our self.
Is my lack of endurance a result of my low self-esteem?
When we lose our sense of self, we do lose self esteem and become depressed. People in abusive relationships lose who they are and become hollow over time. The task is to maintain contact with your own sense of self and keep your sovereignty.
Do I mask my insecurities by finding other excuses for my low endurance level?
Projection of blame is the basis of any excuse. It seems almost reasonable to lack endurance if someone or something else was somehow preventing you from being able to accomplish your goal. Sometimes taking full responsibility helps you come to the conclusion that your endurance was misplaced and you need to change things.
Is there something I believe in but, until now, have not acted upon it?
If you are in a situation that you know needs to change, the change will only occur when you take action.
Day 47
Hod of Malchut – The Humility Aspect of Sovereignty
Sovereignty is G-d's gift to each individual. Hod of Malchut is the humble appreciation of this exceptional gift.
Does my sovereignty and independence humble me?
If you have healthy sovereignty, then you realize that your ability to think for yourself is a gift that you were born with and those who have this gift are chosen. This should humble anyone.
Do I respect the authority of others?
Strong people create their own standards and have to be careful to recognize those who are not as strong and focused as themselves. It is humility that allows us to recognize that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and sense of who they are.
Am I an arrogant leader?
The truth is, if you are arrogant, you don’t know it. If you are having on-going problems with those around you, you are an arrogant leader.
Do I have difficulty delegating power?
Competent people have trouble giving up responsibilities for a variety of reasons all having to do with they know they can get it done correctly and they don’t feel confident anyone else can too. There is a bit of arrogance and self importance in this thought process.
The world will function very well without you some day, get used to the idea.
Do I appreciate the special qualities I was blessed with?
Whatever our gifts, they are innate and this we should be thankful for.
Do I acknowledge G-d for creating me with personal dignity?
We all have personal dignity, but too many people don’t recognize this gift; they feel overpowered by others, need approval from others, or engage in some other form of self degradation and thus give away their personal dignity.
Day 48
Yesod of Malchut – The Bonding Aspect of Sovereignty
Examine the bonding aspect of your sovereignty. Healthy independence should not prevent you from bonding with another person. On the contrary: self-confidence allows you to respect and trust another's sovereignty and ultimately bond with him. And that bond will strengthen your own sovereignty, rather than sacrifice it.
Does my sovereignty prevent me from bonding?
There are some people who are too independent and can’t let some one else take care of things, including themselves. This is not healthy sovereignty, it is avoidance.
Do I avoid bonding because of deeper insecurities that I am unaware of?
Insecurity is only one of many reasons we might chose not to bond; self centeredness, arrogance, contempt, and prejudice are just a few of them. If you avoid spending time with your family, you have an issue; it’s not because of them.
Do I recognize the fact that a fear of bonding reflects on lack of self-confidence in my own sovereignty?
A healthy bond reflects the sovereignty of both people. Each person recognizes where they end and the other begins, however, each may also chose to blend them selves with the other. If I fear losing myself in the other person, I am then doubting my own ability to maintain my boundaries.
Do I talk to the one with whom I bond and discuss my fears that bonding will compromise my boundaries?
If spouses or team mates are avoiding each other, there needs to be a discussion about why that is happening. Often people avoid conflict because they fear they will be overwhelmed either internally or externally.
Actualize your sovereignty by intensifying your bond with a close one.
Day 49
Malchut of Malchut – The Sovereignty Aspect of Sovereignty
Is my sovereignty a put-on to mask my insecurities?
If you wonder about what others think about you or worry that someone doesn’t like you, your sovereignty is a sham.
Does my sovereignty come from deep- rooted inner confidence in myself?
When we are firm in our sense of self, there are no excuses for what we do or the way we think; we are sure that we are doing the right thing because we have confidence in our self that we make good choices.
Does anything cause my sovereignty to be excessive?
Perhaps when some one is attempting to overpower us in their demands or neediness we need to be extra sure to maintain our sense of
self. There are those who will bleed you dry and it’s important to maintain a strong boundary so that we don’t get lost in their pit.
Am I aware of my uniqueness as a person?
A self assured person does what they do because that’s the way they do it, they rarely think about themselves as anything special, however, we must stop and look at our good qualities at least as often as we look for our failures.
Am I aware of my personal contribution?
As we finish our 49 day reflection, it is very important to recognize our own personal contribution to this world and how we treat our loved ones and those we encounter every day.
Exercise for the day: Take a moment and concentrate on yourself, on your true inner self, not on your performance and how you project to others; and be at peace with yourself knowing that G-d created a very special person which is you.
Upon concluding these forty nine days we come to the fiftieth day -Mattan Torah, when we have fully achieved inner renewal by merit of having assessed and developed each of our forty nine attributes.
What is the significance of the fiftieth day Mattan Torah? After we have achieved all we can accomplish through our own initiative, then we receive a gift (mattana in Hebrew) from above that which could not achieve with our limited faculties. We receive the ability to actually reach and touch the divine; not only to be cultivated human beings who have refined each of their personal characteristics, but divine human
beings, who are capable of expressing above and beyond their defined human emotions, but actually express that which is inexpressible and indefinable in human terms; the most intimate emotions that transcend the forty nine defined attributes.
Sovereignty - the last of the seven attributes - is different than the previous six. It is a state of being rather than an activity. Leadership is
a passive expression of human dignity which has nothing of its own except that which it receives from the other six emotions. On the other
hand, Malchut manifests and actualizes the character and majesty of the human spirit. It is the very fiber of what makes us human. When love, discipline, compassion, endurance and humility are properly channeled into the psyche through bonding - the result is Malchut. Bonding nurtures us and allows our sovereignty to surface and flourish.
Malchut is a sense of belonging, knowing that you matter and that you make a difference, and that you have the ability to be a proficient leader in your own right. It gives you independence, confidence, and feeling of certainty and authority. When a mother lovingly cradles her child in her hands and the child's eyes meet the mother's affectionate eyes, the child receives the message that I am wanted and needed in this world, I have a comfortable place where I will always be loved, I have nothing to fear, and I feel like a king in my heart. This is Malchut, kingship.
Day 43
Chesed of Malchut – The Love Aspect of Sovereignty
Healthy sovereignty is always kind and loving. An effective leader needs to be warm and considerate. Sovereignty and leadership are
intertwined because a person who has healthy sovereignty is a natural leader. People recognize when some one is confident and self assured.
Does my sovereignty make me more loving?
As an actualized human being, we are more likely to be loving towards everyone because we feel full and centered within ourself.
Do I exercise my authority and leadership in a caring manner?
There is a great temptation to develop a power trip when we are in a position of authority over others. The higher up the ladder and the more authority one has, the greater the temptation. We must be diligent in watching our self when placed in a leadership role.
Do I impose my authority on others?
Imposing your authority is the definition of a power trip unless you are doing it over an issue of moral value or safety. I should impose my authority over a child who is misbehaving or with an employee who is inappropriate.
Am I kind to my subordinates?
How you treat others is the true measure of your inner convictions. You don’t have to like everyone, but you can be kind even to those you
find repulsive.
Day 44
Gevurah of Malchut – The Discipline Aspect of Sovereignty
Examine the discipline of your sovereignty and leadership. Although sovereignty is loving, it needs to be balanced with discipline. Effective leadership is built on authority and discipline. Dignity also needs discipline. A dignified person needs to have a degree of reserve. There is another factor in the discipline of sovereignty: determining the area in which you have jurisdiction and authority.
Do I recognize when I am not an authority?
Although it can be quite annoying to have an unruly child next to us in a restaurant, it’s really not our place to tell the parents what to do even if we are an expert in child behavior.
Do I exercise authority in unwarranted situations?
Usually, when someone does this, other people react strongly. If you have people thinking you are a pain, think about how and how often
you give directions. We also have to be careful to not over parent. It’s really not helpful for children to feel nagged by their parents.
Do I give clear instructions to my subordinates?
How to do something may be clear in our own mind, but it takes focus and discipline to then express it to others. Vague or uncertain guidance causes misunderstandings and mistakes; ‘they should know how’ is a falsehood.
Am I organized and do I manage a smooth-running operation?
It takes a lot of discipline to manage an office with people doing different jobs and everyone relying on others to work together as a team.
If your team is working well, you are working well.
Am I aware of my limitations as well as my strengths?
It is often more important to know your limitations better than your strengths. Overestimating our ability can get us killed.
Do I think about if I have the right and the ability to exercise authority in situations?
This is a simple think before you act discipline. Often, upon reflection, we find it wasn’t up to us to say or do something or our reflection may help to temper our response.
Day 45
Tiferet of Malchut – The Compassion Aspect of Sovereignty
Tiferet - harmony - is critical for successful leadership and a good leader is a compassionate one.
Is my compassion compromised because of my authority?
The saying goes: power corrupts, and the first thing to go is compassion.
Does my organization work as a team?
A compassionate leader creates a well functioning team because everyone feels valued and worthwhile.
Do we have staff meetings often enough to coordinate our goals and efforts?
Well functioning teams often have formal and informal meetings as things progress. When communication occurs frequently, it’s easy to stay focused on the goal. Parents experience what happens when team members don’t communicate enough; their child manages to manipulate one parent into saying yes to something the other parent already said no to. Every child does it and every parent team faces the issue.
Do I realize that an integral part of the dignity within sovereignty is compassion?
It is compassion that makes our sovereignty dignified.
Day 46
Netzach of Malchut – The Endurance Aspect of Sovereignty
A person's dignity and a leader's success is tested by his endurance level. Our will and determination reflect the power and majesty of the human spirit and the strength of one's sovereignty.
How determined am I in reaching my goals?
When a goal comes from deep within us, we will endure forever in the effort to attain that goal. There are many stories about famous people who were rejected time and again before they were recognized and then went on to become great.
How strong is my conviction to fight for a dignified cause?
This can only be assessed when faced with the situation. It’s very easy to say you would do something, it’s something else to do it.
How confident am I in myself?
Our level of confidence is proportional to our level of endurance. If we know that we will endure until completion, then we are infinitely
confident in our self.
Is my lack of endurance a result of my low self-esteem?
When we lose our sense of self, we do lose self esteem and become depressed. People in abusive relationships lose who they are and become hollow over time. The task is to maintain contact with your own sense of self and keep your sovereignty.
Do I mask my insecurities by finding other excuses for my low endurance level?
Projection of blame is the basis of any excuse. It seems almost reasonable to lack endurance if someone or something else was somehow preventing you from being able to accomplish your goal. Sometimes taking full responsibility helps you come to the conclusion that your endurance was misplaced and you need to change things.
Is there something I believe in but, until now, have not acted upon it?
If you are in a situation that you know needs to change, the change will only occur when you take action.
Day 47
Hod of Malchut – The Humility Aspect of Sovereignty
Sovereignty is G-d's gift to each individual. Hod of Malchut is the humble appreciation of this exceptional gift.
Does my sovereignty and independence humble me?
If you have healthy sovereignty, then you realize that your ability to think for yourself is a gift that you were born with and those who have this gift are chosen. This should humble anyone.
Do I respect the authority of others?
Strong people create their own standards and have to be careful to recognize those who are not as strong and focused as themselves. It is humility that allows us to recognize that everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and sense of who they are.
Am I an arrogant leader?
The truth is, if you are arrogant, you don’t know it. If you are having on-going problems with those around you, you are an arrogant leader.
Do I have difficulty delegating power?
Competent people have trouble giving up responsibilities for a variety of reasons all having to do with they know they can get it done correctly and they don’t feel confident anyone else can too. There is a bit of arrogance and self importance in this thought process.
The world will function very well without you some day, get used to the idea.
Do I appreciate the special qualities I was blessed with?
Whatever our gifts, they are innate and this we should be thankful for.
Do I acknowledge G-d for creating me with personal dignity?
We all have personal dignity, but too many people don’t recognize this gift; they feel overpowered by others, need approval from others, or engage in some other form of self degradation and thus give away their personal dignity.
Day 48
Yesod of Malchut – The Bonding Aspect of Sovereignty
Examine the bonding aspect of your sovereignty. Healthy independence should not prevent you from bonding with another person. On the contrary: self-confidence allows you to respect and trust another's sovereignty and ultimately bond with him. And that bond will strengthen your own sovereignty, rather than sacrifice it.
Does my sovereignty prevent me from bonding?
There are some people who are too independent and can’t let some one else take care of things, including themselves. This is not healthy sovereignty, it is avoidance.
Do I avoid bonding because of deeper insecurities that I am unaware of?
Insecurity is only one of many reasons we might chose not to bond; self centeredness, arrogance, contempt, and prejudice are just a few of them. If you avoid spending time with your family, you have an issue; it’s not because of them.
Do I recognize the fact that a fear of bonding reflects on lack of self-confidence in my own sovereignty?
A healthy bond reflects the sovereignty of both people. Each person recognizes where they end and the other begins, however, each may also chose to blend them selves with the other. If I fear losing myself in the other person, I am then doubting my own ability to maintain my boundaries.
Do I talk to the one with whom I bond and discuss my fears that bonding will compromise my boundaries?
If spouses or team mates are avoiding each other, there needs to be a discussion about why that is happening. Often people avoid conflict because they fear they will be overwhelmed either internally or externally.
Actualize your sovereignty by intensifying your bond with a close one.
Day 49
Malchut of Malchut – The Sovereignty Aspect of Sovereignty
Is my sovereignty a put-on to mask my insecurities?
If you wonder about what others think about you or worry that someone doesn’t like you, your sovereignty is a sham.
Does my sovereignty come from deep- rooted inner confidence in myself?
When we are firm in our sense of self, there are no excuses for what we do or the way we think; we are sure that we are doing the right thing because we have confidence in our self that we make good choices.
Does anything cause my sovereignty to be excessive?
Perhaps when some one is attempting to overpower us in their demands or neediness we need to be extra sure to maintain our sense of
self. There are those who will bleed you dry and it’s important to maintain a strong boundary so that we don’t get lost in their pit.
Am I aware of my uniqueness as a person?
A self assured person does what they do because that’s the way they do it, they rarely think about themselves as anything special, however, we must stop and look at our good qualities at least as often as we look for our failures.
Am I aware of my personal contribution?
As we finish our 49 day reflection, it is very important to recognize our own personal contribution to this world and how we treat our loved ones and those we encounter every day.
Exercise for the day: Take a moment and concentrate on yourself, on your true inner self, not on your performance and how you project to others; and be at peace with yourself knowing that G-d created a very special person which is you.
Upon concluding these forty nine days we come to the fiftieth day -Mattan Torah, when we have fully achieved inner renewal by merit of having assessed and developed each of our forty nine attributes.
What is the significance of the fiftieth day Mattan Torah? After we have achieved all we can accomplish through our own initiative, then we receive a gift (mattana in Hebrew) from above that which could not achieve with our limited faculties. We receive the ability to actually reach and touch the divine; not only to be cultivated human beings who have refined each of their personal characteristics, but divine human
beings, who are capable of expressing above and beyond their defined human emotions, but actually express that which is inexpressible and indefinable in human terms; the most intimate emotions that transcend the forty nine defined attributes.